Happy Marriage tips

I'd like to talk about marriage and your relationship with your husband.  I've been married for 35 years now so I might have some experience on the matter.  I've been reading a few articles that have been going around Facebook and as I've read them I found myself saying "Well, of course"  thinking why would someone need to write an article on that?  It seems like common sense to me.  But is it?  These days are people too caught up in the ME syndrome and what's in it for ME and why are MY needs not met?  probably.  Here's what I know.  Your spouse married you because they love you and were attracted to you and wanted to share their life with you and even eternity with you.  So why do we sometimes get impatient or even start to shut them out of our lives?    Ok, I'll stop with the negative side and turn things to the positive side.  You have two options when your husband asks you to "come look at this!" or "honey could you come here?"  
1. Lean toward your husband and lend an attentive ear, shoulder, heart and smile or
2. Ask "What do you want?" from the other room as if we are too busy.
Why would a husband call for you to come see something or ask for your presence?  You are his companion and friend.  He wants to spend time with you.  Do you accept and go to him when he calls you and needs you?  Should you?  Of course you should and he should do the same for you.
I have an example from just the other night.. It was last Friday night, we were camping out in the desert in our camp trailer and it was dark outside, a starry, starry night but not too cold.  I was inside all cozy and all involved in my accounting with my receipts spread out everywhere and my fingers ready on my laptop inputting amounts and dates into my program for accounts.  My husband called for me from outside and asked me to come here for a second.  I was like "great!  I'm all involved and it's not easy to just get up and leave all these papers that were all over my lap!"  Well, when I went out, we witnessed the most beautiful, peaceful moment in the sky!  It was moon rise just over the rocky mountains in the distance.  We didn't understand the light on the small clouds at first, then as the moon made it's appearance, it was so beautiful and I would have MISSED it if I said "Honey, I'm busy I can't come out."  He wanted to show me this thing in the sky that puzzled him, the light on the clouds looked eerie and spooky and beautiful.  I was happy to have shared those moments with him.  I leaned in towards him when he reached out to me.  My initial reaction of "I have no time for this, I am doing something important" was replaced by "Isn't that beautiful and I'm so glad we're here together!"  When we want to share something with our spouse, we hope to get a cheerful response and a feeling of contentment as we share moments together, even the small things.  Lean towards your spouse and share moments and times together.

Are you always on the defensive ready to defend your opinion every time you have a conversation with your husband?  Is your interaction with each other combative?  Relax and remember your sense of humor and be light with each other, in a nice way.  No teasing that is harmful or vindictive.  No showing disrespect ever, especially in public.  Always build and uplift each other, especially when you are around family members or friends.  Do the people around you KNOW that you love each other, or do they leave your presence asking themselves if they think your marriage will last another year?  Show affection, but don't gush.  Hold hands.  Smile as you look into your husband's eyes.  Be flirty.  Let him show you affection, even if you are not "in the mood".  You'll be in the mood if you just relax and stop worrying about the day, the laundry, the kids, the house, the car, etc.  Be playful.
Never, never, never hold back physical intimacy for punishment.  Never.  That very thing is what can break up a marriage.  Physical intimacy is like the glue that holds the marriage together.  For you, it might be chatting over breakfast, or going for a drive, or talking about your day, or a back rub, but physical intimacy must be part of your routine for your marriage to remain a happy, stable and vital.

The more that my husband and I talk about events from the past and how we handled them, the more we are able to learn and grow for the events in our future that happen.  Learn from your mistakes, but don't bring them up as ammunition when you disagree or argue about a decision or topic.  No one likes to be reminded of their weaknesses or faults, especially from the person they love and are spending their lives and eternity with.  Be courteous and able to forgive and let go.    I remember a time when my husband and I were in an argument while the kids were out playing (don't remember about what, as is always the case), and he said some things that really hurt my feelings, but I didn't yell and scream and cry back to him.  I just left the room, got the kids ready for bed and took a shower and cried in the shower.  I got dressed and came out into the living room again (by this time the kids were all in bed) he looked at me and told me sincerely that he was sorry for the way he spoke to me, that I didn't deserve what he said to me.  He apologized.  I learned at that moment what the song, "Love is never having to say you're sorry" meant.  But hearing his apology to me meant so much.  I love him and I forgave him.  From that moment on, I have always thought to myself when he may say something as a dig or maybe not so nice that he doesn't mean to hurt me.  He isn't perfect and I can forgive him, even if he doesn't say he's sorry all the time.    Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt.  Don't react or overreact to situations.  Things can escalate so easily, don't let them!

Spend time together.  Don't be so busy that you don't make time for each other.  Never put your children first.  That's a whole new post in itself!  Priorities in my book are
1. My God and my faith in His plan for me.
2. My husband. (kids grow up and leave and it's just the two of you so nurture your relationship)
3. My children and grandchildren.
4. My professional job or living.
5. Housekeeping.
I have been sealed for time and all eternity to my husband and my children are also sealed to us forever by the Priesthood authority pronounced upon us in the holy temple of the Lord.  My relationship with my husband comes before my children.  My children know their place and I love all 5 of them dearly and gave them all the attention, affection and time that they needed to become grown ups.  Even when my kids were at home, I tried really hard to put him first.  This sets a good example for the children to know that their parent's relationship is #1 for both of us.  It has helped our children see how to have a stable marriage for themselves.

This photo is from 2012 Christmas.  Our youngest son isn't in the photo because he is serving a mission for our church in the state of Michigan for two years.  We have 4 boys and 1 daughter and we love all of them and their spouses!  Since this photo, we've added two more grandchildren to the bunch.  4 Grandsons and 4 Granddaughters.  We love our family and are pretty proud of the adults our children have become.