Dealing with disappointments

So we all have disappointments in life, that's life.  Yes.  I accept that we are supposed to grow and learn and have experiences, but it doesn't make it fun or easy.  I get disappointed and wonder how I could've been better or made things turn out differently.  So, I think I need a list.. a list of what to do when I'm disappointed.  First of all, my family is the best.  I rarely am disappointed in them.  Each of my family members are individuals with goals and dreams of their own and that's good.  I am in no way wanting to manipulate or persuade any of my family members to do anything except follow their own righteous desires and dreams that are good for their lives.  I'm not really 'aiming' this post towards anyone.. I feel like I've been disappointed a few times in my life though and need reminded of what to DO when I feel like this.
1) Be Grateful.  I have been given so much.  Count my blessings, look at the good, focus on the positive and smile.  Even if it takes writing notes to myself to remind me of my blessings then I need to do that.  I keep a journal, a gratitude journal, and I try to write in it frequently.  It's about due for another entry!
2) Serve.  When I focus on others needs, my own needs become less important.  Serving gives me a sense of taking care of someone else and that feels great!  When I put others needs before my own, my own disappointments and problems seem insignificant, or at least lessened.
3) Smile.  Says it all.  I remind myself to smile often.  I look better when I smile!
4) Listen to uplifting music or talks. Putting positive 'things' in my mind fills it with good, happy thoughts and messages instead of the disappointments I may be feeling.  Play a video that is happy and listen to light, happy and inspiring music.

5) Focus on my talents.  Work on a project.  I love to create and make things newer and more lovely.  When I work on a hobby or talent, I feel great and accomplished and my disappointments are pushed away to the background and my talents and hobbies, things I love to do, are pushed to the forefront!  When I play the piano, I always am uplifted and in a better mood.  Singing makes me smile and be happy too.  A song is like a prayer of the heart spoken up to heaven.  Uplifting to my soul.
6) Give.   When I give of my time, talents, energy and love I feel good inside and it shows on the outside as well.  
7) Work.  Work hard and smart.  Get things done.  When I get things organized and manageable, I feel accomplished instead of disappointed.  Work my plan, set goals and plan to work.
8) Talk with a close family member.  When I talk to one of my kids on facetime or on the phone, I always feel better and do not focus on any of the disappointing things that may have happened that day.  I love my family and I have many family members to talk to.  I feel their love when we talk and share our day and lives with each other.
9) Read scriptures or good, uplifting inspirational books.  I can learn from the experiences of others when I read books that have stories of triumph and victory.  In good books I can find victory for good, triumph in overcoming obstacles to live a better life.  Reading books and listening to audio books helps me to learn how to deal with disappointments with dignity.
10) Love others for who they are.  I should never want to take away anyone's choice and force them to see things my way.  Everyone has the right to choose the way they want to live and it is my 'job' in life to not want to or have the desire to force others to see everything my way.  Love others no matter what they decide to do in their life.  This does not mean I should hang out with or spend time with people who are not on the same path as I am on as far as my goals are concerned, but that I can and should love others no matter what choices they make.  We can find common ground and enjoy our differences, or move on and make friends who are like minded and help us to grow and reach our goals.
11) Spend time with my husband.  My husband is the love of my life.  I look up to him, admire him, respect him and cherish our time together.  I always enjoy his company.  We have a good marriage and have raised 5 wonderful kids who we have a good relationship with as they are growing into adults.  I love to take walks, watch movies, go on drives, work side by side, and do lots of things with my husband.  He helps me feel happy and loved.  We are companions and I am so blessed to have him and he is blessed to have me.
12) Remember that Jesus Christ loves me and I am of great worth.  I am a daughter of God, a woman with a divine destiny and I strive to fulfill that calling of daughter, sister, wife, and mother to the best of my ability.  I cannot do anything alone.  I need my Heavenly Father and His love and guidance.  I know that God sent His Son Jesus Christ to this earth to be an example, to live and to give His life for all of mankind, for me.  He paid for all of my sins and took upon himself my heartaches and worries.  I must trust that God has a plan for me and that through His Son I can be made perfect someday and join with them and my family in an Eternal Life, if I strive to live according to His laws and love.


I have a lovely life, but I do experience disappointments now and then.  It is a human experience and I'm learning to deal and grow and move on.  I should never expect to never be disappointed in my life.  I am one, only one, woman, but I am one and I can be a positive influence for good to those who love me and want to be with me.

Happy Life List ~ 10 points to happiness

My list for a Happy Life: 

1) Come to a realization of who you are, how special you are and how much worth you really have.  Everyone is unique and special and has different ideas and energy to bring to others.  Fill your mind with good thoughts of who you are, where you come from and where you are going.  Hold on to your faith and seek out truth, light and knowledge.  If you believe in God, Pray for His guidance and ask Him to help you know your journey and path.  

2) Read uplifting books and materials.  Fill your mind with good, positive energy through books, audio books, seminars or positive conversations with friends and family.  You can't have positive thoughts if you have nothing positive in your mind.  By deliberately placing in your mind positive materials, you'll be able to draw upon those phrases and words when you need them.  Read the scriptures, inspirational talks, personal development books by uplifting authors and listen to good music with good lyrics to uplift your soul daily.  

3) Spend time talking to friends and family, in person and/or on the phone.  There's something that means more than sending and receiving text messages from family and friends.  A phone conversation brings people closer, more connected.  Why is it so difficult for all of us to answer the phone or to call someone?  Technology is so quick and easy, but actually talking to a friend or family member will strengthen your relationship more than only sending social media messages back and forth.  I love technology and love to Facetime my family and close friends.  I enjoy an in person visit.  I love to talk to loved ones on the phone.  I do enjoy the occasional snapchat or text message filled with emoti-cons back and forth.  Seeing my family post to Facebook and Instragram is awesome!  But we all could stand to use the phone or visit in person more often.  

4) Choose a hobby you love to do and spend time doing it at least weekly.  I have many hobbies and I am really happy when I make the time to DO those hobbies!  I love to play the piano, craft, make jewelry for family and friends, do decorative painting or paint and refinish furniture, sing, play the flute, dance, ride a bike, walk, swim, waterski, and bake.  Make time to do something you love to do just because every week, even a little bit every day!  YOU are worth the time to do what you love, it will help you feel rejuvenated and happy. 

5) Take time to enjoy nature.  We live in a beautiful world full of so many great places to see.  Weather you live in the desert, the mountains, the coast or the plains, there is always something to enjoy.  I love the bring my camera and snap photos of places I see that I enjoy.  I live on the Oregon Coast so walking or hiking in beautiful places is very enjoyable.  I love to visit the Beach and look for treasures and enjoy nature.  God has given us so much to enjoy!

6) Spend time learning and improving yourself.  Learn something new.  Learn a new process for doing something mundane.  Make things fun, enjoyable.  Have the "I Get To" attitude, instead of the "I Have To" attitude.  We "get to" do so many things.  There are so many opportunities around us for improvement and for good.  We CAN improve our circumstances by learning new skills and learning new processes and doing things better and better every single day.  Progress is progress, small or big, progress is progress.  Make progress towards learning every day.. It will give you a sense of accomplishment enjoyed by those who dream and make things better for themselves in all aspects of life. 

7)  Exercise:  Move. Lift. Swim. Walk. Run. Dance. Ride a Bike. If you're only 'activity' is playing video games, that is a sedentary life.  Get moving and get into action.  You will improve your mood, your circulation, your heart health, your joint health, your whole physical body will improve overall.  If you hurt when you exercise, examine how you are performing your activity.  Choose an activity that you CAN do and you enjoy.  Exercise will prolong your life and give you more energy!  

8) Eat a nutritious variety of foods in the correct amounts.  Have a plan for your nutrition for your physical well being.  Avoid fast food and high fatty, sugary foods.  Your heart health depends on a diet high in nutrients like protein, vitamins, minerals, healthy, natural supplements and whole foods.  We do not get enough protein in our American diet as a whole.  Choose healthy proteins that are both animal and plant protein.  Choose whole fruits and vegetables, cooked at home or raw.  Choose drinks that are healthy for you.  Don't "drink your calories".  Many fruit juices and drinks we buy in the stores are full of sugar and calories and just not healthy for our bodies. We feel sluggish and tired when we consume too much sugar and high fatty foods.  Find a nutrition plan you can live with and be consistent with it!  You'll experience weight loss and better health.  Over 60% of men in America are considered overweight or obese!  Let's get healthier together!  80% of your weight loss goals are a result of what you eat!  

9) Sleep.  You need sleep for overall good health.  We don't sleep enough.  Early to bed and early to rise really is a great health and happiness tip.  Just like a child who is cranky when they don't have a full nights rest or don't have a nap, we can be very cranky and moody when we don't get enough sleep.  If you are on a weight loss program, getting enough rest/sleep is crucial.  Our bodies need time to repair and recuperate after being active for the whole day.  A good number is 8-10  hours for adults, depending on how active you are during the day.  The more active you are, the more sleep you need.  Repair what has been worn out, torn down and depleted because of our workout schedule. 

10) Love.  Give your love to your loved ones.  Serve others.  Help those who are in need of help.  Give to a charity or organization.  Be available to your friends and family for service.  When you see a need, don't ask if you can help, just help.  Pray for others who need help.  We cannot do everything, but the something we CAN do will make a difference for those we love and serve.  Give time to your church or favorite organization in service.  When you serve others, you are able to lose yourself.  We aren't so focused on ourselves and our problems when we are serving others.  This brings a feeling of peach and charity and is a great feeling!  Love unconditionally.  Don't expect a reciprocation of your service, just do it for the person you are serving without expectations of anything in return.  We can love everyone without putting our stamp of approval for the way others choose to live their lives.  We are all different and we all choose our way.  We can love everyone without accepting everything everyone does as what we will do ourselves.  Show love and respect no matter what.  

This is my list of 10 things for happiness in this life.  I'm sure there are more 'things' to add that would make us happy.. True happiness is found not in material possessions or trips or toys.  True happiness is found in the impact we give and leave with our family and friends.  It is found in the simple, human daily acts we perform daily in secret where the whole world does not see.  In this day and age of social media and everyone calling "Look what I'm doing!" let's seek for the kind of happiness that is quiet and loving and simple.  Serve others.  Give love and I hope this helps someone.   We may feel like we need to change to be happy.  First, be happy where you are at, be grateful for what you do have and then move forward..make little changes that you CAN make every day and they will add up to big changes over a lifetime.  The challenge is happiness.  If you are seeking happiness and feel like you aren't happy, what should you seek to change?  I believe that we can be happy no matter what our circumstances are.  If we don't like our circumstances, change them.  YOU have the POWER to CHANGE!  We are human beings with intelligence and we CAN become what we want to become.  Choose a path, look to those who have accomplished what you want and pattern your life after them.  Choose a mentor, someone you love and respect and look up to and work toward learning what they did to have what you want to have, weather it is something spiritual or physical.  We are here on this earth to seek every good thing.  Everyone deserves to be happy and to find a joyful way in life.  Leave a comment if you have anything to add.  

You can do anything... if you...

I have to write.  I have to write down what's going on or I'll explode.  I don't know if anyone will read this, and that part really isn't important because writing for me is like therapy.. getting thoughts and feelings out there instead of pent up inside and me not knowing what to do with them.
I am a strong person.  I am 53 years old and I have raised 5 kids, 2 of those children came to me at one time.  I survived and thrived.  I LOVE my children and the memories I have of raising them.  I was probably more of a pushover than I should have been, but all in all, they all turned out great.  My husband helped raise our family - he was very involved with decisions and the direction our parenting went.  He knew a lot and I don't even know where he learned it from.  He is a valiant son of God, striving to keep the commandments.
But this isn't really what I want to write about today.
I think I'm going to take the 365 blog challenge.. blog every day for a YEAR!  Why?  I don't really know.. because I want to see if I can set a huge goal and accomplish it.  I have done many things in my life and I find myself now wanting to improve and learn and stretch myself to do more.  I want to help others, be a positive influence for good, stay close to my family, children and grandchildren and love and help my brother and sisters all I can.  I have held many responsible church callings in my life and have learned a lot about leadership and delegating and getting things done.  In fact, my activity in my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints has helped me become more than I would be if I wasn't active or attending.   My religion and what I believe is a whole nother blog post though,
I was thinkking while I drove home this morning after taking my 24 year old son to his workplace (my car is in the shop and that's a whole nother blog post!) and I thought of that famous saying "You can do anything if you put your mind to it".  I do not know who to credit that quote to, but I was thinking about it and when I heard it as a teen, I thought that if you 'thought' hard enough, you could accomplish your goals, do anything you wanted to do.  Well, that doesn't work.  You can't just think hard about something and accomplish a goal, any goal.  What I've learned over the past few years, is that when you want something bad enough and you change your thinking and believe that anything is possible, with the right kind of work behind it, you CAN do anything.  But it takes work!  It takes a process.  It takes learning what works for you and then doing that process and not just setting a goal and sitting there thinking hard about it and hoping it will come to pass.  Often we cannot change circumstances around us.  We can't change the weather. We can't change the 'economy'.  We can't change other people's choices.  We can't change people to do what we think they should do. We can't control actions of others that affect our lives.  What we CAN do is change the way we look at our circumstances.  We can change the way we think, feel, and act.  We can choose to have a good attitude.  We can choose to work hard on ourselves to improve so we can reach our goals for ourselves.  We can become the best person we can be, with hard work and good ethics.

You can do anything if you put your mind to it is true... but it takes action..  Your mind comes up with an action plan and you work that plan over and over and over again until you see the results you want.  If you don't like the results you are getting, make adjustments, look at yourself and work on being your best.  These are all directed towards ME by the way.  Replace the 'we' with 'I' and it's all for me.  I need to change and work and grow for my dreams and vision and goals to come to pass.  
I have a goal to get up earlier in the morning and listen to uplifting personal development talks or read good books for 15 minutes every morning.   I know this will start my day on a positive note and get me off thinking the right way about me, my life, my circumstances, and my relationships.
So, I am declaring that I'm getting out of bed, that's out of bed and not looking at facebook on my phone, which is what usually happens for about 20 minutes before I get out of bed, at exactly 6:30am from now on.  I'm doing it.  I've written it so I'm doing it.    I'll do Personal Development for 15 minutes and after I've mastered this new habit, I'll add another activity to my morning routine, and so on for my day.  I need to develop structure and good habits for my business, social, intellectual and spiritual growth.
Ok.. First blog of 365 started.  I'll try to post photos to go with the posts.